Behind The Smile: The Diary of an Ordinary Woman
Whilst fundamentally a memoir, I like to think of this book as essentially a message of hope. It initially looks back at historical abuse and the impact that it has had on my own life and health. Abuse is spoken about more openly now than ever before, but it was a taboo subject when I was growing up, everything was ‘brushed under the carpet.’ It is now often on the news, especially high-profile cases, and is quite a hot topic. A lot of people are not happy accepting abuse in any form anymore, and rightly so. However, many are from a time when, like me, it wasn’t openly discussed, or borne from the fear that you wouldn’t be believed if you did speak up, the ‘children should be seen and not heard’ era. There are still lots of vulnerable women and children that suffer every day.
I look back at the life events that have shaped me, the early years of abuse and my eventual rebellion; leading onto my young adult years when my trust was eroded, to my eventual decision to completely change my life and how that brought me to where I am today. I also explore recent studies that have linked childhood abuse and trauma to later life illnesses (Adverse Childhood Experiences), and how, in particular, it could be connected to the immune system, this is the story of my journey through abuse and how I survived and came out the other side stronger and more determined to make a difference. What makes this book unique is the fact that I am just an ordinary person, and I believe the story is easily relatable for others. Also, since the abuse in this book takes several distinct forms and is inflicted by different people this would help anyone who has suffered from any of these types of abuse. My wish is that by sharing my story it could help others not to give up, not to settle and to believe in their dreams and perhaps it will even become a part of their own survival guide.
We still live in a very patriarchal society, and I am passionate about helping women and girls to claim their rightful place in the world. I feel that this subject has never been more relevant than in this current climate where gender equality is being fought for, and abusers, even from decades ago are being held accountable for their despicable actions.
Throughout the book I weave some of my friendships and make a dedication to some of the special women in my life. During my life I have been supported by the most amazing friends and I believe this gives the book balance and pays tribute to those who have always been there for me. Friendships have always been very important to me, and I think it brings the whole story together. At the end of each chapter there is also a letter, which I think is powerful.
Amidst all the mainstream pain and suffering in the world today, I believe that the little stories of everyday people that overcome adversity are a win for mankind.
Available on Amazon in paperback, hardback and on Kindle. Some of the profits from this book are being donated to the charities Action Aid, Refuge and The Children's Society. Here are the links to get your copy-
JP- https://amzn.asia/d/aIUl70B
AU- https://amzn.asia/d/fd6AR54
If you live in Malta and would like a copy of this book, please email me at jan.author.books@gmail.com
Letters to Ian
Following the loss of my son during pregnancy, I started to write to him to keep his memory alive, both for myself and as a way of channelling all the grief that I was trying to keep locked inside. This is the story of the most traumatic event in my life. It tells the story of how I navigated the all-encompassing heartache and pain, eventually coming out the other side with the help of family and friends. It is an unbearable grief at whatever stage you lose a baby, one which you will never forget. This is my account of how it affected me and my family.
Twenty-one years later I share this book as a tribute to my son, Ian, who I sadly never got to keep. I hope that by sharing these letters and my thoughts that it may help others navigate their own grief and to bring comfort and hope, this is my wish. We all deal with grief differently and what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another, this should be borne in mind whilst reading. This book is based on my own experience and personal views.
Available in paperback and hardback through Amazon. The links to get your copy are-
If you live in Malta and would like a copy of this book, please email me at jan.author.books@gmail.com
